


that pastel kind of love

by shin_hoseok



Series: it's always you [3]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, Mention of alcohol, also AU, it's just fluff, like high school au i guess?? except like summer holidays au, like they're slightly tipsy but thats it it's nothing wild, mark is oblivious but so is donghyuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-17
Updated: 2017-03-17
Packaged: 2018-10-06 09:46:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10331885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shin_hoseok/pseuds/shin_hoseok
Summary: mark is oblivious, but donghyuck might be even worse





	

**Author's Note:**

> hi i'm sorry i'm tired af it's like 2am so forgive me for my mistakes also i hope you enjoy!! <3

The sound of pebbles hitting his window wakes Mark from where he was dozing off on his bed after watching a re-run of Friends of Disney Channel. It’s not even that late yet, only a few minutes after midnight, but Donghyuck doesn’t like to wait too long. Mark pulls the curtain open, waving at his friend who beams at him from where he’s standing in the garden below, before pulling over a light jacket and tip-toeing downstairs to slip on his sneakers.

Donghyuck is already sitting on his bike when Mark walks out, tapping the handlebars impatiently. 

„Hurry up, loser.“, he tells Mark, not even bothering to keep down his voice that’s filled with excitement at the thought of their nightly adventure. „The others are already waiting at the clubhouse.“  
They bike through the empty nightly streets and Mark listens to Donghyuck go on about his plans for the holidays, smiling because he should feel bored but doesn’t even though it’s the same each year.  
„I wanna do a campfire this year.“, Donghyuck tells him. „We can roast marshmallows and you’ll play the guitar. We can even sleep outside and watch the stars.“  
„Wow.“ Mark snorts. „You still wanna sleep outside after what happened last year?“  
He remembers it a little too well - their trip with the older hyungs to some camp close to the seaside, except the weather was terrible and Donghyuck caught a cold after just two days of staying there. Mark thinks of the the sticky, wet floor of the tent after another rainfall and the scent of Donghyuck’s damp hair as he pressed close to him, sniffling into Mark’s shoulder. Sure, most of it was terrible, but some of it he never wants to forget at all.  
„Shut up, last year was a legend.“  
„Yeah, more like trainwreck.“, Mark tells him, unable to hold back the smile anymore.

  
Donghyuck bumps their shoulders together softly when they make their way towards the treehouse in Jisung’s garden. There’s soft light coming from inside and their friends laughter is heard from a few metres away. Mark climbs up first, plopping down next to Jaemin and leaving just enough space for Donghyuck to squeeze in next to him. 

It’s stuffy and way too warm, but Mark doesn’t mind. Of course he misses the times of them being small enough to fit inside with everyone being able to stretch out properly, or the times where they could bring a bunch of toys and food up there to hide them away. He even misses the nights they slept over, all six (and later, with Chenle, seven) of them, even though those were the nights that were spent bickering and fighting rather than actually sleeping.  
Chenle and Jisung are arguing about something in high-pitched voices and Mark steals a chocolate from the pile of snacks in the middle of the wooden floor. He shares it with Donghyuck who gulps it down, linking their arms together affectionately as the wait for the meeting to begin. Which it doesn’t, until Mark actually bothers to clear his throat, because being the eldest amongst them he feels a bit like he’s their leader (Jisung would fight him on this, but the truth is that even he listens to Mark more than anyone).

„So.“ Donghyuck takes the lead and leans forward a bit. „You know why we’re here today.“  
It sounds professional, as if they’re having an actual, important meeting instead of their first hangout of the summer holidays. They dive right in, Mark hastily writing down his friend’s suggestions of what to do during these months of freedom (Swimming ends up on the list four times because it’s the best way to cool down from the heat. Jaemin wants to learn skateboarding and Renjun demands a movie night to rewatch all High School Musical films)

„And you, hyung?“, Jeno asks when they’ve finished brainstorming. „Isn’t this your last summer with us, anyway?“

Donghyuck goes all tense next to him and Mark just blinks, because he hasn’t thought about this at all. Jeno is right though, because he is graduating next school year and while he might still be here in the summer, he doesn’t know how much time he will have for lazing around instead of preparing for university, or doing whatever else that life will come up with.

„Uh, right.“, he says, trying to break the uncomfortable silence hanging over them. „I suppose we could go to that Open Air Concert? And just generally, you know, have fun?“  
It’s awkward, but it kind of works and Mark let’s out a relieved sigh when Jeno nods and tells him to write it down.  
He pretends not to notice the way Donghyuck clings to him for the rest of the night.  
They climb down hours later, leaving Jisung, Chenle and Renjun in their sweets-induced sleep that hit them after their sugar high.

Donghyuck doesn’t even bother to go home but follows Mark upstairs and snuggles up next to him in his bed and Mark doesn’t even mind anymore, because his family is used to this (no matter how often they tell Mark not to have Donghyuck over during the week days when they have school, they still somehow end up together, watching dumb tv shows, or talking or on occasion even studying).

„Hyung?“, Donghyuck asks into the silence after a while. „Even if this is, you know, our last summer together, will you still come and see us after you’ve graduated?“  
„What kind of a question is this?“ Mark shifts closer and ruffles Donghyuck’s hair softly, ignoring the twinge of warmth in his stomach. „Of course I will, you idiot. You’re my best friend. And besides, I’ll probably spend the next summer with you anyway, so there’s no need to worry.“  
„I wasn’t worrying.“, Donghyuck protests half-heartedly, leaning into the touch nevertheless. „I was just wondering, that’s all.“

-

 

They sleep until midday and laze around until hunger drives them out of bed. Mark’s mom smiles at Donghyuck as if he’s her own son and gives him an extra pancake. Mark is lowkey jealous until Donghyuck gives him half of it and drags him outside afterwards to go and get some ice cream.  
It’s unbearably hot and they’re walking because the supermarket is just a street away.  
At first they think of just buying one popsicle each, but then Donghyuck discovers a whole package. He makes Mark pay for it but offers to carry it home. Mark knows he just wants to hold the freezing package close to cool himself down, but he let’s him anyway and reaches out for Donghyuck’s hand instead. It’s cool and a little damp from holding the ice cream package and Donghyuck just intertwines their fingers calmly, tugging them closer together. 

They spend the rest of the day lying in the grass of Mark’s garden and eating the popsicles. Donghyuck is addicted to the lemon ones while Mark prefers those with coke. They taste cheap and way too sweet, but it’s the taste of summer and neither of them complains until they’ve eaten the whole package and Mark starts feeling sick.  
They doze a little in the sun to calm their stomachs and when Donghyuck shakes him away a few hours later it’s getting dark already.  
„Are you staying over, Donghyuckie?“, his mom asks affectionately when they walk into the kitchen. It smells nice and Mark goes to sit on the counter while his friend opts to help his mom cooking. At first they tried to get him involved too, but Mark is pretty much a lost case when it’s anything other than ramen, so nowadays he mostly watches them when they make dinner together.  
„Not sure, Mrs Lee.“, Donghyuck says as he cuts the onions. His bangs fall into his eyes and Mark has the sudden urge to brush them away carefully. He ignores it, swinging his legs as he checks his phone and continues to listen to the conversation half-heartedly. „Not that my parents would mind, they just haven’t heard anything from me for like two days already. Maybe I should check up on them.“  
„Want me to text Taeil?“, Mark asks, already looking for the contact in his messenger app, but he’s distracted by Donghyuck’s hand on his knee that is patting it absentmindedly.  
„Nah, I’ll just go over later and see for myself.“, he tells Mark. „Wanna go swimming tomorrow?“

„Sure. Wanna ask the kids?“  
„Yeah, do it.“ Donghyuck’s hand rests on his knee for another few seconds before he lifts it off and goes back to cutting. Mark tries to ignore the feeling of something missing.

 

-

 

The thing is, they’re inseparable even when they’re not together. Mark is cuddled up in his bed with the AC turned up. It’s nice and cool and he’s so tired that he could fall asleep immediately, except he’s discussing a new webtoon with Donghyuck so he can’t really go to sleep yet.  
Donghyuck’s messages are all messy because he can’t be bothered to type properly and Mark wishes they could just skype, but it’s almost 2AM and he doesn’t want Donghyuck to wake his family by accidentally talking too loud.  
Donghyuck sends him a screenshot of another funny scene and Mark’s giggles are muffled by his blanket. Normally they would sit next to each other now and read the newest chapter at the same time, but now that they can’t, this will have to do. It’s weird because Mark doesn’t even like webtoons, but it’s just another thing Donghyuck has sucked him into and that he can’t escape anymore.  
**_Let’s go to sleep soon?_** , he texts him when he’s barely able to keep his eyes open anymore. **_Or I’ll fall asleep :(_**

**_waijt_** , Donghyuck texts back, **_theres lik e 3 pages leftbear w me_**

**_Ok._** Mark doesn’t know why, but he waits instead of just going to sleep on his own, playing Crossy Road until Donghyuck starts spamming him again, most of the messages just being: **_!!!!!!?!?!??!?!?!?????!!!!!_**

Mark falls asleep with a smile on his face.

 

-

 

It turns out that their trips to the local swimming pool end up being torture instead of relaxation.

The thing is, he has always liked Donghyuck in this weird „I want to kiss you“-kind of way, except it’s always been vague enough to ignore.

But now he has no idea what’s going on with him - seeing Donghyuck like this, with his tan skin and the tiny droplets pooling down from his wet hair, he looks more gorgeous than usual. Mark wonders why he hasn’t noticed the hundreds of times before when they went swimming and why he can’t look away now. Most of all he wonders how his feelings have grown so fast that they are now consuming all of his thoughts. He blames it on the heat and the growth spurt Donghyuck has experienced the last few weeks. 

„Are you okay?“, Renjun asks on one evening when they’re sitting on the grass next to each other, watching the rest of their friends play in the now relatively empty pool. „You seem out of it these past few days.“  
„I’m…I’m not sure.“, Mark tells him, tearing his eyes away from Donghyuck to look at Renjun instead. „It doesn’t matter though, I’ll be fine. Just need time to think about…something.“  
Renjun raises an eyebrow and his eyes flicker to where Donghyuck is splashing the biggest waves at Jisung, both of them squealing loudly.  
„And will you ever tell that _something_ about what’s bothering you?“, Renjun asks eventually and Mark freezes because he’s been caught. „I’m sure that _something_ also has things to say to you.“  
„Am I that obvious?“, Mark asks, ignoring the question.  
Renjun seems to think about it for a second, before slowly getting to his feet.  
„Actually, you both are.“

He has jumped into the water before Mark can even open his mouth to ask what exactly he meant by that.

 

-

 

„Hyung, are you even listening to me?“, Donghyuck asks, turning to face him. Mark blinks a few times, trying to keep the blush off his cheeks as he slowly shakes his head. He highkey hates himself for getting so damn distracted all the time, but he can’t help it, because his best friend is actually the most beautiful human being in the world and it drives him mad.

„I think you’re getting old, hyung.“, Donghyuck teases, shoving his phone into Mark’s face to show him what he’s been talking about these past few minutes. „Anyway, have you listened to this by now?“  
It’s a song by Rihanna and Mark isn’t sure if he has even heard it before, so he just shrugs.  
„Oh my god Mark Lee, you’re actually the most frustrating person in the world, what am I gonna do with you?“, Donghyuck asks, reaching out for his headphones on Mark’s nightstand. „Here.“

They listen to the song on repeat and Mark things he might like it just because his friend is so obsessed with it. 

„You should come over for dinner.“, Donghyuck mumbles after a while, his voice heavy with sleepiness. „My mom misses you and Taeil keeps asking how you’re doing.“  
„Taeil knows exactly how I’m doing, Taeyong tells him like, everything.“, Mark mumbles. „But I’ll come anyway, I miss your mom too.“  
It’s funny because years ago their older brothers were just like them, as inseparable and wonderfully annoying. Taeil is like a second brother to Mark and sometimes he thinks he’s just friend with Donghyuck because their families are so close.

„Hey, don’t start loving my mom more than you love me.“ Donghyuck elbows him softly and Mark squeezes his eyes shut, because how in the world could he love anymore more than he loves Donghyuck?

 

-

 

When the orchestra starts playing, Mark feels himself relax for the first time in days. He knows the music that they’re playing a little too well, because they have the same setlist each year, but the beauty of it all hits him every time.  
They have their blankets spread out close to the stage and Mark can almost feel the music when he lies down next to Donghyuck, who reaches out for his hand excitedly. It’s slowly getting dark, a breeze providing some cooling down from the unbearable heat. The grass is packed with people who came to watch and Mark adores the atmosphere because the music brings them all together for a few hours. He feels brave, so he squeezes Donghyuck’s hand and pulls him in a little closer until they’re pressed against each other.  
Mark thinks of telling him right here, just turning to his friend and saying: _I love you_ , like it’s the easiest thing in the world. But he knows he won’t because their friends are here and would tease him forever and also because he doesn’t want to bother Donghyuck, who seems so invested into the music right now. His eyes are closed and there’s a soft smile on his lips and the way his hair is falling into his face has Mark looking away after a few seconds because it’s all getting too much to handle.  
Instead, he looks up into the sky and tries to find reasons why he absolutely can never confess to Donghyuck. He only finds three:

  
1\. He can’t confess to Donghyuck because no matter the outcome, it could ruin their friendship. He can’t bear losing Donghyuck ever.

2\. Donghyuck would probably reject him either way

3\. Mark is awkward as heck when it comes to talking about feelings and confessing would be so embarrassing that he’d have to fling himself into the moon afterwards.

 

The last one is something he could somehow take, but the first two are genuinely tearing him apart.  
The music changes and Mark shakes off all the negativity and tries to think of reasons why it might be worth the risk:

So maybe, hypothetically, Donghyuck could like him back. It’s almost impossible and Mark doesn’t want to be delusional, but he can’t help the hope overwhelming him for a second. He imagines being Donghyuck’s proper boyfriend who can kiss him anytime and take him out on dates to talk about dumb anime. He thinks of fanfics he’s read and how the main characters always end up together and how he wants to be this cute with Donghyuck. He thinks of proper cuddles instead of that half ass sleeping next to each other that they do at the moment, both too scared to make the first step. Donghyuck would insist on taking couple selfies all the time and Mark would let him because he secretly loves it. He’d steal Mark’s clothes and Mark would die over it more than he already does. 

Somewhere in between the thoughts he feels warm breath on his cheek and he just takes the feeling in for a few seconds until he realizes what’s happening.  
Even though he knows it’s Donghyuck, he still flinches back when he turns his head and finds his best friend’s face inches from his own. 

„Hyung, are you okay?“, Donghyuck asks with something in his voice that Mark can’t quite place. „Your heart is racing.“  
Mark looks down at where their intertwined hands rest on his chest and wants to die because he can’t explain it very well without mentioning that he’s been daydreaming about disgustingly soft things.

„Uhh, yeah, it’s just the music.“, he explains half-heartedly, already knowing that Donghyuck won’t believe it. He’s right, because his friend just smirks and pulls back from their close proximity to lie back down.  
„The music. I see.“, he says smugly.  
Mark wants to punch and kiss him at the same time, but settles with closing his eyes and actually trying to listen to the music flowing around them.

 

-

 

Mark is tipsy. It feels good in a weird kind of way, because everything is lighter all of a sudden than it was before, the laughter of his friends echoing through the garden as they sit in the grass, talking about everything and nothing. Donghyuck hasn’t let go off him for the last half an hour and Mark thinks that he’s probably tipsy too and it’s all Taeyong’s fault, really. Taeyong, who is watching them from the opposite side of the campfire, a shit-eating grin on his face. 

Mark doesn’t look at him, but he feels the gaze until Taeil starts playing the guitar again and his brother’s attention turns elsewhere.  
They haven’t planned to spend that campfire-night Donghyuck has talked about with the hyungs, but it’s good they do because the hyungs are so much fun to be around. Their parents are gone for the weekend, so they’ve set up themselves in their garden. They haven’t made a proper campfire in ages, but their dad entrusted Taeyong with the supervision and so far the house hasn’t burned down yet, which means it’s a success. There’s some beer which mainly the hyungs drink, but Taeyong did allow him to share a bottle with Donghyuck earlier, which explains why they’re both kind of out of it right now.

„Hyung.“, Donghyuck mumbles next to his ear. „Let’s get out of here.“  
Mark raises an eyebrow, surprised.  
„This was your idea in the first place.“, he says, turning his head just slightly. „Are you not having fun?“  
„I am.“, Donghyuck replies, tightening his grip around where he has wrapped himself all around Mark. „But like, I don’t know, I’d just rather be alone with you right now.“  
He says it softly, in a way that makes Mark’s heart skip a beat.  
„Alright.“ He gets to his feet and Donghyuck has to let him go. He gives Mark a short pout, but follows him inside the house anyway.

It’s a big chilly inside, so they cuddle up in Mark’s bed. They sober up a bit, but Donghyuck still smells like perfume and fire and he’s prettier than ever. Mark wants to squeeze his eyes shut and  just forget about it, but Donghyuck is looking back at him nervously and Mark can’t go back to ignoring his feelings just yet, not when his friend is bothered by something.

„Are you okay?“, he asks carefully. They don’t do feelings often, not directly anyway. „Are you still upset about my graduation?“  
The summer is almost over, just a week until school starts again. Donghyuck has been weirder than ever these past few days, but only now Mark allows himself to get worried.  
Donghyuck huffs and shakes his head.  
„No, dumbass.“, he says, letting out a sigh as he turns to lie on his back, breaking their eye contact. „Don’t worry, I’m just down because I’ve been really obvious all these weeks, yet that person still doesn’t get it.“  
„Who doesn’t get what?“

„It doesn’t matter.“  
„It does matter if it upsets you.“, Mark mumbles, shifting closer. He reaches out for Donghyuck’s hand, but for the first time in forever Donghyuck won’t let him take it.  
„Stop doing that.“, he tells Mark, his voice filled with bitterness. „Don’t do stuff like this if you don’t mean it.“

„But I mean it?“ Mark wants to scream because Donghyuck is acting irrational and it’s a side of his friend that he can’t deal with very well. „I don’t get it, what’s your problem? You never minded skinship before.“  
„It’s not about that.“ Donghyuck sits up, pulling his knees close to his chest. He looks small like this. Mark really, really wants to hug him right now. „I just don’t think I can take it anymore, it’s stressing me out. Hyung, I’ll tell you something and you have to promise not to hate me for it, okay?“

„I could never hate you.“, Mark says because it’s the truth.

„Okay. Thanks, I guess.“ Donghyuck is taking his time and it’s incredibly stressful because Mark is sure that he’s going to say something along the lines of: _„So I noticed you have feelings for me but I don’t return them, so we should like, stop touching so much or something.“_

What he gets instead is: „I like you.“  
It’s as simple as that and Mark stares at him dumbfounded, waiting for something else while his brain is trying to process the words. Except Donghyuck keeps quiet, so Mark sits up as well, biting his lip nervously.  
„Are you serious?“, he asks eventually, when the silence becomes too much.  
„Yeah.“ Donghyuck is staring straight ahead and Mark thinks that he maybe wants to cry a bit but doesn’t for some reason. „I’m sorry, I know you’re like, straight and stuff, but I still wanted to see if you’d ever notice how much I feel for you. But you didn’t, so I’m guessing you’re just really comfortable with me and that’s it and I honestly hate myself right now for even hoping-“

„Shut up.“, Mark interrupts, trying to sort the chaos in his brain. „Like, first of all, I’m not straight.“  
Mark never thought he would tell anyone, but now it seems like the easiest thing to say out of everything he has on his mind. „And second of all, idiot, I’ve liked you since eighth grade.“  
„Oh.“ 

„Yeah.“  
„Oh.“ Donghyuck turns to face him for the first time in minutes, blinking rapidly. „But I looked like shit in eighth grade.“  
„Oh my god, shut up you were so cute.“ Mark buries his face in his hands, feeling the heat rise to his cheeks. He really just said that.  
It’s embarrassing but it doesn’t matter, because Donghyuck is tugging at his hand now and Mark let’s him take it. The butterflies in his stomach are dancing and he thinks he wants to dance, too.  
„Cute boy.“, Donghyuck tells him in broken english. „Can I kiss you?“  
„I hate you.“, Mark whines but leans in anyway. It’s soft and careful and just a touch at first, hot breath mingling together, until they start moving their lips against each other. It’s not perfect, but it comes pretty damn close and Mark thinks he wants to stay like this forever and a day.

 

-

 

It’s the last day of the summer holidays and they’re spread out on the grass again, finishing their last popsicles. Donghyuck is complaining about school and Mark listens half-heartedly. Mainly, he’s just staring at the way his lips move. They’re glistening a little and Mark thinks he could taste the orange flavor if he kissed him now. He does because he can and smiles at the way Donghyuck sighs against his lips for being interrupted, before hooking his arms around Mark’s neck to pull him closer. They do taste lemony and sweet and Mark wonders how he ever preferred the coca cola flavored ones over this.


End file.
